I am back at an old job that I enjoy and I have been welcomed back with open arms. It has really helped me mentally to feel wanted and welcomed! As some of you know when you get in that dark head space the little things like someone talking to you negatively can flip that switch in your head so easily. So I have helped myself by doing this to recover mentally.
But further to my progress I am losing weight by eating healthier and stopping constant takeaways. It has motivated me to continue this as my body image and self love have definitely gone down seen my depression. I do hope to get more motivated to exercise at least 3 times a week. Though struggling with my mental health still it does make it harder to motivate myself when trying to remind a float.
However, I am getting there step by step I feel better in my self and I feel I am re gaining parts of the old me I have missed such as, laughing more and smiling more. The little things really do make a difference as they say be kind to others as you don’t know what anyone is going though behind closed doors.
I think what has helped my recover journey too is talking to my dad and his wife as they are fellow suffers of depression. They understood my struggles and helped me set plans into place to recover slowly rather than overwhelming myself.
That is all my updates for the moment! Let me know in the comments and tips that has helped your mental health. Be kind always 🙂
My first personal goal is to clear my debts and my dad has really supported and helped me get out a never ending overdraft! Plus I am making instalments to pay off a credit card before the interest starts. It caused me to stress about money and paying off my debt in time but I will get there with the support around me.
To work on my fitness and mind to help me love my self again! I am going to start this by little steps of daily walks following no takeaways to help my diet. I want to get my mind back on track as well as my body 🙂
I want my own house to allow me to have my own space and area to live rather than living under someone else’s house. This will take time like everything else but I am trying to be better for myself.
Here is to me focusing on my first goals to help me heal myself to feel like me again!
Short but sweet today 🙂 Have a good evening everyone!
Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com
Hi readers I hope everyone is doing good this April!!! I have had a bad start to April with losing a job but I will keep moving forward! Today I’m going to talk about my reading passion. I hope you enjoy 🙂
I think reading became my passion when my English teacher provide a few of us with a book called “Noughts & Crosses” by Malorie Blackman. I will never forget the feeling of getting hooked into a good book! It lets u escape your reality and become part of another. I then read The Mortal Instrument series after and since then I have been so passionate about books and reading.
It is mainly what I started this blog for too as it provided me with space to review some of the books I was given to read. But a question for my readers is do you have a favourite author or book? As a true reader I could never pick but a favourite author is easy for me as I have loved and read all her books! The author is Sarah Dessen and I think I love her because she writes such good young adult stories that kept me hooked throughout. My favourite book of hers is “Lock and Key” it is such a lovely book about first love and I recommend to read!
Also, my passion lead me to Bookstagram. It created a platform for booklovers to connect there love for reading to each other. It helped me a lot through covid times being stuck at home all the time. I have not been active at all on it recently but that is due to my mental health and I hope to find the time to connect again with the lovely platform.
The image above is taken from recent holiday in Iceland and you can never take the bookworm away from me as I saw this bar and all around was books! It was like a dream for me. But I lost my reading due to my mental health struggle and I know I will return to reading many books again just within time!!!
That’s all for todays blog I hope you enjoy reading it:) Don’t forget to comment your favourite books and authors!!
Hi, I am writing today about my personal struggles. A lot of you out there will relate to my issues and others may learn or pass by me. So enjoy the content 🙂
Issue
I have been and I am still fighting Depression. For those who don’t know what depression is I would describe it as my own mind fighting me. Personally, I have struggled with the low moods, no motivation, lose of my passions and extreme mood swings!
Now me being me thinking it is something that can be fixed straight away with a talk or medicine when that is far from it! I disguised mine with methods such as alcohol to feel that good feeling but months later it came back worse than ever.
For me I feel like I lose all control of my emotions leading me to become child like again. I know it is my mind and my choices but when you don’t know WHY it is happening a natural instinct is to lash out or isolate yourself. I mean for me it has taken control over so many aspects of my life such as, work, relationships and my body image.
A job I once loved I let my mind take over and handed in my notice after 7 years because the stress got too much for me to handle. It left me jobless but I moved to my next workplace and it was fine for a while but same happen again. I let my mind control me when I should be the one controlling it! It has lead me to jump from job to job in the look for the right one. When I look back yes some of my jobs weren’t good for me but I let my mind control what I did. I have struggled finically and even had to take time of because my emotions got the best of me.
The next big impact depression has had on me is the relationships I have with everyone. I pushed people away because I didn’t like the person I had become. I stopped visiting my friends as much because I felt like a burden to them, as I didn’t know how to explain it when I didn’t understand it. My boyfriend having to live with my extreme mood swings changing every second. The fact I dropped a pizza on the floor while trying to cut it made me scream and burst out into tears. Again lacking control of my emotions and my mind. I laugh about it now but at the time all I could think is ” why I’m not even good enough to cut a pizza.” My mind getting into that thinking pattern and changing the way I acted.
The never ending cycle of loving your body is so draining but when I add my depression on it is worse. I am over eating food as if they are my emotions. The lack of motivation to exercise to help me lose weight but also, my other condition adding to me not losing weight. The self love for my body is not there. Depression has not helped me to over come this struggle.
This little thing I took everyday to supposedly help my body and hormones but it just added to my depression. This was due to me already having an hormone imbalance in my body. The pill didn’t work for me it heightened all my emotions more leading to uncontrollable crying and angry.
Overcoming it all!
I know it is not going to be a quick fix journey for myself it will take time which I am going have to be patience with. I have started to control my breathing when I do lash out to calm my body down. I have stopped taking the pill to get my imbalanced hormones back. I have taken on a new hobby to help me relax down after my days. There are other things such as, talking to others about my issues, meeting up with friends and reminding myself I control me not my body controlling me 🙂
That’s all for today if anyone has any other good advice please comment below to help me and fellow readers out there 🙂 And if your struggling remember you are not alone!
Well……… I started good with this as I started lessons in January but I got lazy and didn’t continue 😦 I will continue eventually to learn it again because it is my favourite instrument.
Go back Swimming
This goal didn’t happen either but I hope to go more when things go back to some kind of normal!
Hi readers! I hope you are all well. This is a review from a book tour i was on.
This is an Adult Romance Novel that does have trigger warnings in place. I didn’t expect to enjoy the book as much as i did! I never really pick up these kind of books but i might have to pick up more.
The Beginning- It starts with Ella and her family moving from England to America. It shows the struggles that Ella is facing until she meets Adam for the first time. I loved how it got straight in with Ella’s shy character. I think it is one of the things that made me enjoy the book more! It got me hooked from the beginning which I love in a book. (I find it makes the reading throughout more enjoyable:)
The story showed the falling in love with an older man which i liked because i haven’t read many books that do this.
HOT GUYS!!!- I mean all the guys she describes in this book i wouldn’t mind them coming my way! haha 🙂 Adam is the main man in this book and i loved how protective he was throughout.
The End- I love a good twist in the plot and this book didn’t disappoint me! I won’t say too much as i hope you pick the book up. I did love the end as it is the first book in a series. I wanted to know dates of the next release!!! The music element i love as well it was sweet.
Overall, I defo recommend this steamy romance to read!!!
It’s my stop on this book tour! Thank you to R&R book tours and the author Paul Tudor Owen!
‘Sooner or later, everybody comes to New York…’
Following a sudden break up, Englishman in New York Nick Braeburn takes a room with the elderly Peacock sisters in their lavish Upper East Side apartment, and finds himself increasingly drawn to their priceless piece of Egyptian art on their study wall- and to Lydia, the beautiful Portuguese artist who lives on the roof garden.
But as Nick draws Lydia into a crime he hopes will bring them together, they both begin to unravel, and each finds that the other is not quite who they seem.
4 * – Amazing read!
This book really surprised me! (In a good way!) I couldn’t stop reading 📖 it after each chapter. I really liked the characters in this book.
It is well written and I like the writing style the author has used throughout the novel. I loved the cover of this book too it is so simply but effective!
It was a nice change to read from the male perspective in a romance book. As normally it is the female view point. I think this is a reason I enjoyed it so much!
Now the things I didn’t love was the ending. I am really picky on endings and it just didn’t do it for me. Though it ended nicely I just thought it’s ended that’s it. I also, felt the opening could of got going a bit more quickly too.
Overall, I really loved this book more than what i thought I would! I would recommend this to others to read!
Hi fellow readers and writers out there. A late Happy New Year! I hope 2020 is treating you well so far. I am going to discuss my favourite readers and least favourite from 2019. Also, my new goals for 2020!
Least Favourite 2019
Least Favourite of 2019
It has to be Wakenhryst by Michelle Paver. This is not to say the novel is bad! It is just my personal opinion. I really couldn’t get into this book and i had to force myself to finish the book. I felt this was a book out of my usual go to genre which could be one reason i didn’t like it. But we all have different tastes so don’t be put off by my view!
My Favourites of 2019
This book really surprised me and i think it is why it became one of my favourite reads last year. I mean there is time travel! who isn’t sucked in at that? haha I won’t write too much about it as i have a little review of it in my blog posts if you want to check out more about this novel!
Another Favourite of mine is SummerLand it had such good twists in it ! i couldn’t put it down either. Endings are always a fav part of reading a good book and this novel didn’t disappoint me! (My review is also in my blog posts:)
Start Exercising more! – This is a goal to maintain for myself to keep my health in good shape
Eat more Fruit and Vegetables- Again this is for my fitness and health goals
Read 50 books this year! – I have read one this year so far, it is going strong
Finish of writing my book- i have 3 stories on the go i am writing. i hope to finish one this year!
Finally Learn to play the Violin- I am super excited for this one! i love Violins and i hope to keep focused and determined to give playing the Violin justice.
So, thank you for reading my blog post today! I hope you all have a good 2020. Lets get reading and writing! 🙂
The salty sea breeze hit Claire as she opened the door. Stumbling along the path to greet her friend. She reached for the door handle and climbed in. “Hi Claire, how was your night?” Liz questioned. “Great, can’t wait to meet my mums new boyfriend tonight” she responded sarcastically. “Oh, let me know how it goes.” Liz replied. Claire turned to the window, her eyes stared at the beach front as Liz drove her to their shop. She felt sad about arguing with her mother last night it just kept replaying in her mind. The car suddenly stopped, Liz was trying to get Claire’s attention. Liz was waving her arms in her face and shouting, “hello, earth to Claire we have a shop to run.” Claire became aware of her surroundings and was back in reality. She could smell the alcohol in the air from last nights people on the streets. “Sorry, just not with it today” she smiled. “Well, come on lets get the shop open for 9am.” She walked off to open the shutters.
Let me take you back to my past, then you can understand my present self. It all started when I met him. It was a cold winter evening, my ginger hair redder than ever, my brother still at home and my mum was happy. I must have been sixteen maybe seventeen when that man entered my life.
I walked through the door, the first thing I noticed was the smell of cooking, my mum never cooked unless we had guests. I walked towards the kitchen. Then I saw his face for the first time. He was tall with blazing hazel eyes, he had brown short cut hair and he wore a suit. I could never forget that smile. ” Hello love” her mum spoke. ” Hi… erm who is this?” i replied. He moved towards me with a twinkle in his eye as he grabbed my hand and kissed it. “I am Henry, a friend of your mothers.” he smiled. Claire thought ‘friends’ my mother can’t even get a boyfriend. “He will be here a few times a week love.” “Ok.” I moved out the kitchen towards the stairs and out the corner of my eye I saw him looking at me. I walked up the stairs and throw my bag on the floor. The walls were covered in nothing but white paint and a few photos. The smell of cooking was floating in my room.
It got weird very quickly after that first encounter with Henry. I mean what kind of name is Henry? He was there almost every night after meeting me. I thought nothing of it at the time, i was happy for my mum at trying a relationship again. The second time i saw him he started touching me.
It was a Friday evening mum was cooking lamb dinner, she looked so happy in that moment. We all sat around the table mum across from me and Henry sat at the side of me. Just a normal family dinner until his hand started to wander my thigh. I froze at his touch. “So, how was your day at school love?” My mother asked. How would you respond when i man is fiddling with your thigh. “Erm…. fine we have to start writing short stories about our lives” “How intriguing love” she responded. His hand just kept rubbing back and forth on my thigh. All i wanted was to move, to speak, to stop it! I couldn’t do that. Dinner ended, i quickly moved to my room grabbed a towel and ran for the shower. All i remember was my tears being drowned out through the noise of the shower. No one to talk to just me and my thoughts.
I looked towards Liz she had opened the shop. I reached for the door handle and started walking towards the red door with sign Crazy Book Nerds Place. Its funny how events change your path you thought you had set for yourself. I opened the door books in every direction that is what i like to see. “I made you a coffee, it is on the counter” Liz shouted from the back. “Thank you! I love you so much” I shouted. I got the whiff of coffee as i reached for the mug and brought it to my mouth.” Liz emerged from the back door. “Hi, you look better already,” She smiled. “I feel better, thank you for bearing with me.” I smiled. “What are friends for” she responded just as a young man with glasses entered the shop. He looked confused like he wasn’t meant to be there. “Can i help you?” i asked. He jumped dropping papers he had in his hands scattering all over the floor. I rushed over to help collect the papers up. We both reached for last one and our hands briefly touched sending shivers down my spine. All the papers collected, i give them back and he provide me with a small smile. “So, Is there anything i can help you with?” i asked. He stuttered “I…I work for delivery company.” “Oh, great is it just a signature you need?” I smiled up at him he turned his eyes towards the ground. “Ye…..sss” he responded. I signed the document and he quickly walked away. “Well, it is settled your scary!” Liz laughed. Claire moved towards her gave her a small smack on her arm. “I am not scary!” Liz couldn’t stop herself from laughing even more.
The day went on not many visitors today. Liz and I locked up the shop and got in her car to drive home. “Do you fancy staying mine tonight” Liz spoke. I looked along the beach again, all the tourists sitting and waiting, sometimes i think i am waiting for time to rewrite its self or stop all of a sudden. ” I wish i could but i am meeting my mum’s new boyfriend.” i replied. “oh shit! i forgot about that. Text me later babes.” she said. I got out the car and headed for the door. I felt sick, tearful and alone.
Thanks for reading 🙂 Let me know your thoughts of my work!
Vick's Bookish Writing Blog 