My first personal goal is to clear my debts and my dad has really supported and helped me get out a never ending overdraft! Plus I am making instalments to pay off a credit card before the interest starts. It caused me to stress about money and paying off my debt in time but I will get there with the support around me.
To work on my fitness and mind to help me love my self again! I am going to start this by little steps of daily walks following no takeaways to help my diet. I want to get my mind back on track as well as my body 🙂
I want my own house to allow me to have my own space and area to live rather than living under someone else’s house. This will take time like everything else but I am trying to be better for myself.
Here is to me focusing on my first goals to help me heal myself to feel like me again!
Short but sweet today 🙂 Have a good evening everyone!
Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com
Hi readers I hope everyone is doing good this April!!! I have had a bad start to April with losing a job but I will keep moving forward! Today I’m going to talk about my reading passion. I hope you enjoy 🙂
I think reading became my passion when my English teacher provide a few of us with a book called “Noughts & Crosses” by Malorie Blackman. I will never forget the feeling of getting hooked into a good book! It lets u escape your reality and become part of another. I then read The Mortal Instrument series after and since then I have been so passionate about books and reading.
It is mainly what I started this blog for too as it provided me with space to review some of the books I was given to read. But a question for my readers is do you have a favourite author or book? As a true reader I could never pick but a favourite author is easy for me as I have loved and read all her books! The author is Sarah Dessen and I think I love her because she writes such good young adult stories that kept me hooked throughout. My favourite book of hers is “Lock and Key” it is such a lovely book about first love and I recommend to read!
Also, my passion lead me to Bookstagram. It created a platform for booklovers to connect there love for reading to each other. It helped me a lot through covid times being stuck at home all the time. I have not been active at all on it recently but that is due to my mental health and I hope to find the time to connect again with the lovely platform.
The image above is taken from recent holiday in Iceland and you can never take the bookworm away from me as I saw this bar and all around was books! It was like a dream for me. But I lost my reading due to my mental health struggle and I know I will return to reading many books again just within time!!!
That’s all for todays blog I hope you enjoy reading it:) Don’t forget to comment your favourite books and authors!!
Hi, I am writing today about my personal struggles. A lot of you out there will relate to my issues and others may learn or pass by me. So enjoy the content 🙂
Issue
I have been and I am still fighting Depression. For those who don’t know what depression is I would describe it as my own mind fighting me. Personally, I have struggled with the low moods, no motivation, lose of my passions and extreme mood swings!
Now me being me thinking it is something that can be fixed straight away with a talk or medicine when that is far from it! I disguised mine with methods such as alcohol to feel that good feeling but months later it came back worse than ever.
For me I feel like I lose all control of my emotions leading me to become child like again. I know it is my mind and my choices but when you don’t know WHY it is happening a natural instinct is to lash out or isolate yourself. I mean for me it has taken control over so many aspects of my life such as, work, relationships and my body image.
A job I once loved I let my mind take over and handed in my notice after 7 years because the stress got too much for me to handle. It left me jobless but I moved to my next workplace and it was fine for a while but same happen again. I let my mind control me when I should be the one controlling it! It has lead me to jump from job to job in the look for the right one. When I look back yes some of my jobs weren’t good for me but I let my mind control what I did. I have struggled finically and even had to take time of because my emotions got the best of me.
The next big impact depression has had on me is the relationships I have with everyone. I pushed people away because I didn’t like the person I had become. I stopped visiting my friends as much because I felt like a burden to them, as I didn’t know how to explain it when I didn’t understand it. My boyfriend having to live with my extreme mood swings changing every second. The fact I dropped a pizza on the floor while trying to cut it made me scream and burst out into tears. Again lacking control of my emotions and my mind. I laugh about it now but at the time all I could think is ” why I’m not even good enough to cut a pizza.” My mind getting into that thinking pattern and changing the way I acted.
The never ending cycle of loving your body is so draining but when I add my depression on it is worse. I am over eating food as if they are my emotions. The lack of motivation to exercise to help me lose weight but also, my other condition adding to me not losing weight. The self love for my body is not there. Depression has not helped me to over come this struggle.
This little thing I took everyday to supposedly help my body and hormones but it just added to my depression. This was due to me already having an hormone imbalance in my body. The pill didn’t work for me it heightened all my emotions more leading to uncontrollable crying and angry.
Overcoming it all!
I know it is not going to be a quick fix journey for myself it will take time which I am going have to be patience with. I have started to control my breathing when I do lash out to calm my body down. I have stopped taking the pill to get my imbalanced hormones back. I have taken on a new hobby to help me relax down after my days. There are other things such as, talking to others about my issues, meeting up with friends and reminding myself I control me not my body controlling me 🙂
That’s all for today if anyone has any other good advice please comment below to help me and fellow readers out there 🙂 And if your struggling remember you are not alone!
Vick's Bookish Writing Blog 